Wow. Hi!

HAPPY ELECTION DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And if anyone actually reads this today: GO VOTE NOW.

Vote for someone who supports free market, a healthy economy, and most importantly our TROOPS.

I voted! I even got a sticker for it! WOO.

<3

Some things...

So, I think Amaya is too brave. Way, way too brave, and far too independant for her own good. Anyways, at three years old she's quite addicted to the pool and is learning to swim quite quickly. Here, she's going in circles pretty much, down the slide, to the ladder, around the slide, up the slide, down the slide, to the ladder, etc...

The kids always have a bunch of fun when we go over to my Mom and Dad's house. They have a huge back yard, filled with fruit trees!, cats and dogs to play with, grandparents to spoil the kids, and best of all the pool. My Dad loves buying the kids new things to play with in the pool. (It gives him something to do. LOL!)

Here's Zachary the shark. hehe

Anyways, off to work! :)

OH MAN!

I forgot to post pics, I'm terrible. I know. I'm sorry. :):)

Here's Amaya and my dad in the pool...

And these are taking forever to load and I have to get to Mom's so I'll post more later. BYEBYE!

Interesting.

Well, court was boring.

Mom went with me.

We sat in the holding room from 0830 til 1200, and never even got to see the courtroom. I didn't get to stand up and make the heart wrenching speech you always see happen in the tv shows, and there wasn't some badass A.D.A. backing me up to help tie up the case....it was pretty boring, really. We watched some tv, read some magazines, played checkers, and pretty much tried to stay awake.

Oh well, maybe next time.

WAIT! No, no next time. I'M HAPPY IT WAS SO BORING! Less drama is good in real life. :)

**waves**

Court?

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oh man

WHY DO I FEEL SO OLD LATELY?

Seriously. I'm not that old.

But it seems like everything is going so fast, and sometimes I just want to scream for the world to stop. I don't have enough time to get everything done I want to do!!

Did my post go through about my story? I don't think it did. I'm formulating a story idea, and it's going to be lovely. I just need Sandra to answer a few questions for me, and give me a few permissions, and then...viola!

I suppose I should maybe get that email out with those questions, hrm?

Anyways...off to play with the kids!

<3

hrm!

Blogspot hates me. The past few days I've been trying to post and it won't go through.

So, I'm going to try yet again.

TEST! :):)

Happy (late) Mother's Day!

the zoo

Gabriel and Sarah's class went to the zoo today. I decided to take Amaya along, and then Kelly came as well too--so it ended up being pretty much a family trip, only Zachary and Joshua had to stay at school. Joshua went last week, but all the pictures are on my phone and I don't know how to get them anywhere, lol.

Anyways...yep. Off to do the things that need doing. <3

Too much work, indeed.

I work too much, that's a given.

Joshua has started basketball. His practice is every Monday. He seems to be really enjoying it. I'm glad, it's a positive outlet for his energies. I want to put him in a kung-fu type thing as well, I think it would be really good for him.

All my other kids aren't into extracurricular activites. Yet.

Anyways, just a short update. I have to get Joshua from practice, and then get my tail into work..

<3 <3

Floods!

First tornadoes, now floods?

Joy.

Well, Amaya turns 3 Saturday. ((Can you believe it Sandra? It's been three years since she was born!! You were the first non-medical person to see her other than Kelly!!! That means you should be excited too. hehehe)) She doesn't seem like she should be that old. It surely hasn't been that long, has it?

:(

Anyways, I have to go get laundry done. It's waiting for me. :

Spring Weather

For anyone who keeps up with weather reports around the country...

...Most of Oklahoma had fun lastnight. There was a tornado about 2 miles from my mom and dad's house lastnight. It tore up houses, threw power out because of hitting relay stations and whatnot...

....anyway, I had worked for about 12 hours yesterday, some at work and some doing laundry at mom's. When I got home I was so tired, I glared at the blaring storm alerts and told Kelly to wake me up if we were about to die. ((To which he replied, he'd be so kind as to let me sleep through my death, so it would be more peaceful for me, isn't that sweet?? He loves me :))) Anyways...I pass out. In the morning I hear on the radio a tidbit about Edmond not having power, so I call my dad on his cell phone to make sure his power wasn't out and to help them get to work if it HAD gone out. So he's telling me about how everyone's okay and not to worry blahblah...and I'm like whaaaaatever, just wanted to make sure you woke up on time!

Only to find out that so close to their house a tornado had hit. I felt kind of stupid, because it's really only a few miles from here---faaarrrr too close for comfort. I didn't even care lastnight though, so tired!

I made some yummy food lately, but I don't feel up to posting recipes. Maybe I'll put them up some other time. :) :)

I'm currently reading Death is a Lonely Business by Ray Bradbury, which my sister so kindly loaned me. YAY!

OH! I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy. I know there are small things about yourself you always wish you could change. Mine is usually my hair and my weight, but the hair is always something that frustrates me. I go through billions of shampoos trying to find one that does my hair any good--and let me tell you, I found it! I bought Herbal Essence "None of your Frizziness" and it MADE MY HAIR SHINEY. It cut the frizz in only one use---not PERFECTLY, but soooo much better than it was. I'm sure God loves my hair frizzy, but I don't, so this shampoo has made me happy. :):) Also, there's a body soap called "Tahitian" something by Caress---you don't have to buy it, but at least sniff it the next time you're wandering through the soap section. It's so yummy!

I'm going to bed now. <3

Spring Break

I wish school was a year-around thing, like it is in some areas of the country. We're on Spring Break right now, and as I watch my kids eat us out of house and home I wonder how we'll make it through the Summer with them home for two months. Eeek!


I'm still looking for a job, so if anyone has a lead on something I could do from home, please let me know. ((Or anything else, I suppose I'm not that picky.))

Alright, well...off to do whatever it is I have to do around here.

heedelydoo

So, we've been away-ish from blogland. We started playing WoW, so I could play with some of my old friends, Gabriel's Godfather, and his family and the like. My older sister plays too, and now she's talking about transferring to our server.

I'm a little sad, because I expect a lot out of people I game with. I enjoy playing with Sandra and Curtis, because they like to be social as well as play, and this is not the case with my other friends. In fact, I found out in an off way that my friend is getting married soon. I completely expected it, he's been with his girlfriend for years, but he didn't mention it to me---or invite me. Or his Godson. :

Anyways, we're having a lot of fun exploring WoW. Wish we had more people to play with.

If anyone plays, we're on the Stormrage server, Alliance side. We may switch to a different server to play horde for a while, just to make sure we have a good fit where we are now. :)

Funny story!!

Amaya, our two year old found a small bottle of hand sanitizer. She also had a popsicle stick from her bomb pop. So she's walking around spreading the hand sanitizer on her tummy with the stick! It's so cute, and very sanitary. LOL!

So...that's where we've been. I've been dragging Kelly around in WoW! :)

<3

In a funk

Lets see if Blogger will let me post this.

Bleh.

Alright, so what I posted was that we're all sick, and we're not up to doing much.

So we'll be back soon.

Happy Blogging everyone!!

Room to Speak

I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to post another poem, but I suppose I will anyways.

"Room to Speak"

She always wanted to be
Something Special in those eyes,
Regarded with respect- not whimsey,
To the man who'd painted her skies.
But who was she to want or
Ever wish for more?
Just a little girl in ribbons
Waiting behind a closed door.
Like a dream so long forgotten,
Just a whisper from the past,
She'll never make him proud,
For she will always come in last.
In the darkness of night she
Can whisper of her love for him now,
All she ever wanted was for
Him to love her- to see her somehow.
But she so far from perfect
Never really had the right way,
And she'll never find time to recover from
The words Daddy was too busy to say.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Oklahoma is the worst state to live in if you don't make large sums of money. We can't move, we can't progress, and finding work here that is higher than minimum wage is difficult at best. I don't like to sound like a victim, and I really detest people who do, but just how much trying must a person put in before it becomes obvious that the odds are stacked against them?

Minimum wage is a joke. It's barely enough to stay alive. Even with welfare suppliments, I can assure you, there is no room for forward movement. The only break you can possibly get at low income levels is the hope that tax season will bring a decent return so you can purchase the things you haven't been able to afford all year long.

This leads to a bunch of stress and frustration. It's a wonder there are millions of people getting divorced over money troubles, younger and younger people who throw school to the winds and think they can make it alone only to find they CAN'T make it without an education--far too late.

We need to- as a society- promote education above dreams of being famous and making fists of money. I know there are several people out there in the world who say they promote education as much as possible, but really it starts at the lowest level possible - every single person. Teach your kids it's okay to be a nerd--afterall, nerds like Bill Gates make much more money with a more reliable and stable foundation than "famous" people- who grow and fade overnight. We need to teach our neighbors, our family and friends--that it's okay to embrace education over fashion or popularity.

Bleh I turned this into a rant, and for what good? Hardly anyone ever reads this blog. Those who read it already share my opinions, so what good is to preach to the choir? Ah well, maybe if you all pass it on too, someone who doesn't already believe education is vital to modern society will see it, and believe it and pass it on themselves.

- Song of Love -

I'm not going to say who this is dedicated to, but I think he knows. I think. Well, I don't really think. But, I believe. LOL!

- . Song of Love . -

Sing me a song of love
To put my mind at ease
Rest my eyes for moments
Locked in a question.

Sweetest moments,
Watching the sun rise
Bathed in golden hues of
Pinks, and orange,
Colors you gave me.

Heightened sensation,
This enchanting innuendo,
Distance bars even a touch,
A taste
Of heaven in you,
Of those lips
Like sun-kissed dewdrops.

Sing me a song of love,
And I will dance for
Your words, and hope,
The heady passion in you.

Heightened sensation,
This enchanting innuendo
Spoken promises of a touch,
So soft in the moonlight
That doesn't cool
With the morning sun.

Sing me a song of love,
So I can rest
From the pain of living
life alone.
Call out my name,
That I may hear your voice,
From miles away,
Your call draws me
Across the distance and
Deep into your heart..

Sing me a song of love,
A love we shall share
From a distance until
We're sure the time is right,
I'll take you in my arms
And softly whisper
On breath alive with you
A song of love come true.


--------------

Oh yes, it's gag-me sweet. Bet you didn't think I had it in me. ;)

Kelly, Finished it!, Up Next--etc

We took Kelly to the hospital lastnight. He has bronchitis and an acute exacerbation of his gouty arthritis. (That means a gout attack, but the doctor had to say it in such big words it amused me, and thus I'll relay it in those terms.) They put him on some medicine and he's doing much better today. :)

Now, for the book world..

I finally did it!

I finshed the entire Ender's Series.

1. Ender's Game
2. Speaker for the Dead
3. Xenocide
4. Children of the Mind
5. Ender's Shadow
6. Shadow of the Hegemon
7. Shadow Puppets

What a delightful series, if you're into strategy, armies, honor, family, love and life in general. It's hard to follow at times, and a few of the books suck, but if you read them all together the story is awesome. It's pretty much a futuristic military space sci-fi heavy into science kind of series though.

Very good books.

My next conquest is going to be the Xanth series, the Homecoming Harmony/Earth series, or maybe even the Foundation series by Asimov again. :)

Or some other random set from my harddrive *shrug*

<3

Making Pizzas

The kids and I decided to make pizza today. It's been very fun, and very messy.

First was the supplies.

3 boboli pizza crusts
1 - 3pk boboli pizza sauce
3lb bag mexican blend cheese
1lb hamburger meat
Pepperonis - which we already have, we always have it on hand, lol

First of all, I put the sauce on all the pizzas. It's a messy step so I did it. Next, Sarah and Amaya put pepperonis on one pizza, Zachary put pepperonis on another pizza, and Joshua topped those pepperonis with fried up hamburger meat. Gabriel spread cheese over the pizzas, with Amaya helping and stealing toppings as they went. Then we all munched on pepperonis and cheese while those two pizzas cooked.

Last pizza was supposed to be cheese only, but it's got pepperonis and meat on it too, because we had too many toppings left over. LOL! :)

We had a lot of fun making these pizzas, and it was quick and easy. (Even for the two year old!)

I felt sorry for my mom as we did this, because she never did anything so fun and involved with me and my siblings when we were younger. She missed out on such great adventures, re-learning and re-exploring life through the eyes of her children. It's something I take for granted, and yet it's such a blessing.

<3

A Love of Fate

I've been thinking of posting this for some time now, and Kelly says I should go ahead and post it. For any military wives who read this---well, not all of course, maybe I'm the only one who ever feared losing the mind while keeping the body. Anyways, this story came from a fear I had during Kelly's deployments. It is very emotional, especially, in my mind, to military wives.

To: Wife@ homeinAmerica.com
From: Husband@ war.com
Subject: Re: Come Home..

I wish I could say soon, I miss your arms around me at night. I never thought it could be so cold in the desert. I miss your smile, the pictures I have aren't helping. We should be leaving next week, I hope to be there before you receive the letter I mailed you.

Yours Truely,
The Man Who Stole Your Heart.

On Feb 14, 2003 Wife@ homeinAmerica.net wrote:

> Dreams are intense.
> I woke up screaming your name last night.
> It seems like lately I can't stop thinking about you...when are you coming home?
> I miss you.
>
> Love in Eternity,
> Your Wife

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was Valentine's Day, the letters that they wrote were from miles away. Years seem to pass in between a family when they're seperated with no way to touch. Dreams are lost in time, lost beneath the changes time always brings.

He returned home safely, when the war was through with him. She feared for a while, he didn't write because he had been taken prisoner on the way home. He was tortured, tormented, and was clinging to the mere thought of his wife for survival. But what did it give him but images of who she was? He returned home to a woman who had grown. She was used to his not being there, and his presence made her nervous and edgy now. He needed her touch, but her touch was hesitant.

A wedge was driven between them, and their love- as strong as it was- could not survive. She left him, scared of who he was now- the man who had nearly died and had killed to live for only her touch. The pain was so much, to know he still lived and she could hear his voice, but the loving touches with a worshipful taste so hungry for her that it scared her, the midnight tears that soaked his pillow, and his withdraw so completely into his own tormented hell; she could not longer stand it. The love of your life changed beyond recognition, beyond hope of redemption. What kind of God lets love like this run dry?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

He was sitting in the living room as she left. His eyes were bleek, muted pain veiled the laughing glimmer they once held. She couldn't even look at him, her bags were packed and sitting by the door.

"I'll - uhm - be at Mom's," her voice trailed off uncertainly, waiting for him to ask her to stay. Begging him silently, but nothing, and her mind clicked back on, "My Mom's I mean. If you need anything," and again her voice trailed off as she stood staring at the broken man she once loved so passionately. Leaving him didn't hurt her, because he wasn't the man who left to become a hero. He had come a hero, no doubt about it--but she couldn't even stand to be in the same room as the stranger that replaced her beloved husband.

There was a tightness in her chest that told her that her heart was breaking, and a stinging in her eyes that let her know the tears would come again very soon. It was a cruel joke, and fate wouldn't let them go for a long time.

He didn't even acknowledge her words, he just sat there. His eyes were unfocused, though the tv was on in front of him; but even she knew better than to think he was watching it. In his mind he was still in that cell, he was still being hurt. She wished he could let it go, that he could heal and come home to her for real; instead of living in this ghost-like shell so shut off from her. Even then, she knew, the damage had been done and he would never be the same again.

Slowly, she turned and opened the door letting in a violent riot of sunlight that cascaded over the tile entryway, pooling atop the terra cotta tiles and splashing against the grout between them carelessly. Memories of the installation haunted her, teasing her as laughter echoed around her and she saw them again, happy and in love as they set the tiles and smeared one another with grout.

"Eek!" Her squeel echoed in the empty house, "You can't do it like that! It'll look crooked!" She slipped on an ill-placed tile and stumbled, paint brush in hand as she fell and grabbed his shoulder. He fell with her, catching her and cradling her in his arms as she splashed paint everywhere.

They lay in a pile on the floor, the tiles only half installed and yet completely forgotten as his lips met her's. The passion of their love reignited by even the simplest of things.

The remote location of their house made it a perfect spot, the sun hot across their nude bodies as they made love, clinging to eachother as if for life itself. The room faded to hot pinks and oranges as the sun set, and beyond the doorway they could have seen such spectacular colors as God painted the sky for them alone.

But as they were for so many years, they were lost in each other. The beauty of nature was lost for their enrapt attention to eachother that lasted until long after the sky had become an inky blue.

He still hadn't moved, and she shut her eyes more against the tears that were burning them than the familiar sunset that bathed her face in golden sunlight. She stepped out into the fresh summer breeze, and slowly stumbled her way to the car climbing behind the wheel in an emotional wreck. How can I ever live without him? she thought, through her sorrowful tears.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Knowing she was leaving, he could hear her coming downstairs, he wondered if maybe he had acted too soon. Surely she wouldn't come to kiss him good-bye. Not this time, of course.

He heard her speaking, but was too drained to even turn to give her the attention she deserved from him. The dull pain pulsing from his wrists gave the only sensation he felt in these final moments, the crimson stain crossing the couch they picked out together.

Will she miss me, his mind tormented him now of all times. Will she miss me as much as I will miss her?

He was drowning now, falling into oblivion, and it was far too late even if she did come to him. He could hear the shudder crisp and clear as she took a ragged breath. He heard her murmer of love and eternity. His eyes fell shut, but his life didn't flash before his eyes as he had thought it might: only her face. Her smile, her golden hair washing over her shoulders as she leaned over him and a smile painted across her beautiful face. The sunlight in her hair was like a halo, and he knew he had never deserved such a love. But her lips, those rosy full lips, how they called to him--even with his last breath, as he felt himself dying, he heard her words and felt her breath against his ear.

"I'll never leave you," she was whispering, "not until the day we both die."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Tears were stinging her eyes as she drove, and she blinked hard trying to focus on the road and where she was going. Finally she stopped, pulling over to the side of the road where she cried. For hours she cried, letting out the pain she had held inside since he returned home. He may have lived physically, but he died so long ago, and without him she was dead inside as well. She couldn't stand his face, that placid mask that used to be so animated with life and love. Seeing him made her remember the loss, to feel it so much more keenly than she had during his deployment. She remembered the promises, her mantra she chanted as she prayed for him while he was captive. It was so long ago, lifetimes ago, their naive promises of forever.

Without looking she opened the door of her car, and stepped out into the road. She felt the cool breeze against her face and leaned against her car, shakily lighting a cigarette as an afirmation of her new habit to soothe the pain. Her hand shook as her chest heaved with left over sobs that weren't ready yet to subside. A soft rain began to fall, making the pavement his and steam and she stood there, letting the rain wash her tears away and plaster her hair to her face and neck. Not even the lightening or thunder rumbling through the sky shook her from her shock.

She may have seen the headlights veering uncontrollably as a drunk driver slid dangerously along the road slick from the fresh rain. The driver couldn't control the car from drinking so much, and she snapped into reality just in time to hear the final squeel of tires, the blinding flash of a light---and then she was knocked down, and under and over...

She could have survived.

Fate didn't let her. Her death was quick and painless, and as she took her last breath staring up at the storm and the raindrops she saw only his face, smiling and radiant as it had been when she first met him.

He held out his hand to her, and she found herself reaching up to accept her death.

"I thought you'd intended to lay there all day," his voice was saying from far away behind that blinding light.

There was no rain.

He was moving away from her -- but no! Wait! She wanted to call to him but her voice was thick and uneven, and she couldn't form the words to express her fear.

But then she wasn't under her car, and there was no night pierced by headlights. She was sitting in a grassy field, vibrantly green and alive. There was a faint imprint of where she'd been laying tracing her head, and arms, and no doubt her legs which were still lost in the green.

"Sally?" Dave's voice came again, and she looked up to see him a few steps away. "Are you coming?" He was facing her now, concerned.

"Is..." she looked around at the sun, the beauty of nature and the park around them filled with happy and laughing people. "Is this heaven?" She was hesitant, and confused.

"Don't be a goose, you didn't get hit that hard did you?" he was walking back to her, and running his fingers through her hair to check for contusions. "Come on, you don't even have a bump!" He picked up the baseball that was laying several feet off, and this time lifted her to her feet and led her to a crowd of their friends they had known for years. "This is Memphis, no where near heaven."

She shook her head as she followed him, then stopped him short of the crowd waiting for them and kissed him cautiously. "I guess I'm just worried about the war..."

"What war?" He looked at her again, arching an eyebrow and only the depths of serious concern for her was shining in his eyes back at her. "There hasn't been a war since the Clinton administration, since the Iceland Pact. You know that."

Once again Sally shook her head, lost in his eyes as she so often found herself. "I, uhm...nevermind. I love you." And the fog in her mind that was telling her this was wrong was dissipating, and she felt warm again as if she had just had a great burden lifted from her shoulders.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, just a bit too much sun maybe? I think I need a drink."

He smiled now, still concerned as he dashed off to get her a drink.

She stood watching him, the confusion fleeing from her mind as she remembered the Pact, and their plans to play baseball today. Surrounded by their family and friends she had thought lost so long ago- she wondered idly if time could stand still for a love that fate was bound to get right.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

~Fin~

- . Symphony of Summer . -

For those of us who lived in rural America ...well, you know. :)

Golden lit memories
Shifting like photographs,
Starry nights beneath
A canopy of sapphire
Dancing lightening bugs
Floating on the breeze,
The cry of the frog,
And a coyote's howl
Symphony of summer
Sung in memory.
Children's laughter,
Sweet like lemonade.
Running in the meadows
Flying on the wings
Of an old tireswing.
The cool refreshment
Echoing from the river,
An old swimming hole
Long since forgotten.
I was there, so long ago
In those fields so sweet,
Among the hidden glory
Symphony of summer.
Song of birds softly
Mixed with cadydids.
A trembling blossom
That survives eternal
Locked within a memory.

Rag-time Blues

I don't like this poem anymore, but maybe someone else will if I only post it here for them to read. This poem means many things to many people, and I won't taint it by telling you where my brain was when I wrote it. Suffice to say it no longer applies to me, and therefore I don't personally enjoy it like I did when I wrote it.

<3


Dream in sultry rag-time blues,
When the darkness comes for you.

Hold your head up high again,
Walk the path without the pain.
Keep a leash on wild desire,
And be lost within the fire,

Dream in sultry rag-time blues,
When the darkness comes for you,

Knowing that with time will be,
A time that your heart is free,
To soar in the starlit night
A time when all will be right.

Dream in sultry rag-time blues,
When the darkness comes for you.

Cast away the doubt and fears,
When the shadows gather near;
Walk with pride into the light,
Leave behind the darkened night.

Dream in sultry rag-time blues,
When the darkness comes for you.

How CUTE!!!!

http://blog.wired.com/geekdad/2008/02/robot-dinosau-1.html

This thing looks so cute!!!!! I'd love to see a parade of dinos in my house, but it wouldn't last! Anyways, cutest toy ever.

kkthxbai!

Is it too late?

Okay, this time I'm going to actually write a post, instead of just the title. ;)


I didn't do anything on slow cooker thursday, because I work all day and I'm quite lazy.

Kelly has appealed to me to make the nachos Sandra made a while back, and I've been thinking of how yummy it sounded. But for some reason God has not given me the ability to follow a recipe to the end, without altering it so much that there shouldn't have been a recipe to start with for all I listened to it. :)

So here's what we did different.

First, I fried up two lbs of 93/7 turkey meat. (Honeysuckle white--yum!) I make Kelly eat turkey because it doesn't mess with his gout or stomach too much, so most of our recipes use turkey instead of other ground meats. Anyways...fried up the meat with 2 tablespoons of chili powder, a heaping helping of minced garlic--about 3 large cloves, I kid you not--and a ton of fresh ground pepper and some cayenne pepper too!

Then I opened up a large can of WIS-CON nacho cheese. We've never tried this before, but I really dislike the consistencies I get with Velveeta or chunk cheeses. This one starts smooth, and mixes well with the other stuff I'm putting in. :)

Anyways, dumped the cheese and meat into the crock pot, added 1/2 cup of Pace Medium salsa, and 2 tablespoons of jalapeno juice.

I've got the crock pot on high right now, because I want it to get hot quickly and I'm impatient. We haven't actually tried this mess yet, but I hope it tastes yummy!

We have some lettuce and sour cream to add on top, as well as some refried beans!

I'll have Kelly let everyone know how it turned out, lol.

The Spider and the Butterfly

This poem has been published http://www.ritro.com/sections/poetry-prose/story.bv?storyid=2793 here, in September of 2004. I was thrilled, as I was published somewhere--and yet hesitant to celebrate it much, since it's just a website, and as I've seen they don't have very strict rules on what they actually publish--the best of the bunch I hope. Anyways, it's my favorite self-written poem, and some of the lines stick in my head even now.

The Spider and the Butterfly

The shadows cast a spell
Of wanton disbelief
Design of higher power
Trapped within the grief.

Like a spinning spider
Dancing on spun glass
Winds borne of Avalon
Gently come to pass.
Winding down the day
Like a sunset's grace,
Dreaming of eternity
Within this hollow place.

A yearning held inside
For that simple perfection,
The hatred that is found
Inside a slight inflection.
All is lost for just one kiss,
A mild and lusty sin,
Like butterflies in flight,
Their beauty lies within.

This a quaint observation,
From a mortal mind
All this beauty in a field
In springtime to find,
The spider and the butterfly,
An oddly couple in short,
One never sees a stolen kiss,
Or thinks the butterfly the sort.
To engage in affairs
With the spider's disception,
Leading to her gentle fall,
And immediate suspension.

We're--and by we're I mean I'm--going to look at some places for us to move to. One is out in the country and it's on 2 acres. If it's anything livable, we'll be moving there. I'll have to get decorating tips from Sandra, I've been so much into ecclectic and techno-savvy I haven't any idea how to decorate a country home.

It's cold, freezing, and raining. So I need to hurry and get this out of the way, so I can come home and be in the warmth. It's supposed to snow tomorrow, and we're having a "family" dinner, with my dad, mom, sisters, brother and all their respective signifigant others. It's to celebrate Carol's (my older sister, who's 29 now!) and my birthday. Her's is the 11th, mine the 19th, and we're going to celebrate it all at once--weather permitting. I don't usually enjoy these large dinners, because the kids get all bored and fidgety, and they never enjoy themselves at all because it's an adult thing--shrug.

I wish I had a camera, so I could get pictures of the new (hopefully!) place and post them, but alas our camera was broken. :(

midnight highway

I'll admit, I never thought to post my writing in my blog. I've always posted it on deviantArt, and after they went commercial, I sort of faded away from my public eye. Kelly said something that struck a cord, and made a lot of sense--which he does quite often--that I should post it here. I'm a writer, and I should post what I know.

So here, a poem--"midnight highway"

darkness
shadows falling over
cement and paint
dreams have brushed this highway
glimpses of happiness,
all passed by-
but once
once they were here,
if only for a moment.

bathed in the soft glow
of moonlight, a soft summer heat,
the haunting sound of laughter,
wafting on the air,
fading....
...fading.

dusty wind, and darkness,
there is nothing permanent here.
nothing lasts forever,
not even memories.
i remember this place
i've been here before.
the midnight highway..
lost in the darkness..
..always alone.

Is it Cheating?

...if I came home from work to pick up Kelly and the baby to get them out of the house for a maintenance issue....and then stayed here because the guy didn't show up? I should go back to work soon.

I've been having a very bipolar week, it's making me feel wildly confused to say the least.

I joined facebook.com, which makes that like the fourth or fifth social networking site I've joined. I'm hoping I can actually network though, I miss some of the people I used to know. Most of them drifted off as I moved on, and while I doubt we'd be fast friends again, I'd at least like to know how they're doing every once in a while.

Maybe I can even talk my family into getting on there, so everyone can see how disfunctional they all really are. ;)

Kelly started a blog, he says because *I* told him so, but he really wanted his own blog. He just didn't know it until I told him. :)

Anyways, off to do things...

Happy St. Valentine's Day

Hope Everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day, and it's filled with all the love you can handle.

Check out this link for the Legend of Saint Valentine, a little holiday history for you! http://www.novareinna.com/festive/saintval.html

Hugs and Cuddles!

snarf

oh yea

kelly says my blog looks like someone puked on it.

i'll change it later. maybe. it sure does seem to fit my mood lately.

oklahoma is draining my soul, and even when i try to look at life in a positive light, someone has to shoot me down. it's like i've had a target painted on me somehow, and i just can't shake it off. i'll get them back though, i've decided my ultimate payback is to get out of here. i'm not going to be happy stuck in a rut my whole life -- i'm moving on, and someday in the far distant future i'll look back on this place, and these people, and i'll thank God they gave me the strength to run as fast as i could the other way.

Subtle Interactions

I went shopping lastnight. While I was there, I saw the manager from Sonic who did me the most harm. He lied to me, falsly promised and gave me hope of a future, led me on; and in the end, he's the one who told people over the phone he'd fired me. In truth, I had not been fired, I had quit -- but there was always a chance I had wanted to go back after my days off, and I wasn't really as fed up as I thought I was. ....Some people may remember how fed up I was. ;)

So, I did the best thing I could think to do in that situation. For a moment, I stared like a deer in headlights, watching his interaction with his husband. He is so hateful, and even watching them together I realized that while his husband adores him, worships him in fact, he has no respect for anyone but maybe himself. I hid around a corner, and walked as far off as possible, disrupting my shopping pattern and causing general chaos in my own schedule to avoid a chance meeting.

Now I wonder, why was it me hiding and skirting around like a criminal? *I* didn't do anything wrong. I didn't lie, I didn't cheat and take for granted the best and brightest of my team. I built things, I fixed things, and yet.....and yet I'm the bad guy. I'm the outsider, the castoff--the unwanted one. No one ever called me, the way he called so many people to beg them to come back to work. No one asked me to please stay, they couldn't survive without me.....and why do I even care, it's just Sonic. :

Anyways.

I waited for two months to find a job to replace Sonic. I was excited, thrilled, overjoyed! I lost two months worth of income, two months worth of saving to move back to Idaho! (hehe) Now, I go to work very hesitantly--because I don't want to work outside of the house anymore. I'm not happy, I don't like my co-workers, and the entire insanity of the place makes me want to rip out my hair. It's the most disorganized warehouse I've ever seen, and they're trying to re-organize it so it's even MORE disorganized, because it will be "easier" for them. But they know better than me, I'm just the new girl.

There has never been any secrets about my employment here. I'm a temp. I was placed by Aerotek, and I can be moved at will. It's still frustrating to see on my timecard "Temp" handwritten and smothered in highlighter. Yes, I know--I'm only a temp....why does that seem like such an insult this week?

My sister turned 29 yesterday. I got to talk to her briefly, and I felt incredibly guilty. My dad was off working, and didn't even take off for an hour or so to go to dinner with her, because he claimed he was too sick----and yet he still went to work. Mom spent the evening cleaning up her yard to try to get rid of my little brother's pit bull puppies. Instead of taking her oldest daughter to dinner, or doing anything with her at all. I don't know about my brother or other sister, but what I do know is that I went shopping, ate dinner, and went to bed early with nothing but a brief phonecall for her, and now I feel incredibly guilty because I know what it feels like to be abandoned by your family on your birthday, and I know how much it hurts, and I just did the same thing to her. :(

This post turned into quite a rant. I hope I can find some strength for that positive energy I've become so fond of finding in my faith lately, but it's flagging through this trial and I wonder if I'll survive it at all. I'm sure I will, there isn't a task set before me that I cannot handle. It sure does feel like it's still Monday, though.

yippee

it's the 11th already?

i want to be at home chasing amaya.

i don't like working. i'd really rather be at home making sure everything is running smoothly.

bleh.

and now lunch is over.

<3

Blah

We all caught a virus. It's pretty miserable, especially since I was very excited about the roast I put in my crock pot before work yesterday. I was so sick when I got home I fell into bed and just now got up with the alarm. Now I'm stiff from head to toe!

It also means my clothes were still in the washer, lol. Oh well.

It's raining outside. Yesterday was so beautiful it was 74 degrees outside. Today it's supposed to be 40, with a chance of snow. Ew. I really dislike Oklahoma weather, all the wild hops and jumps make my allergies go nuts. I mean, what a tease giving us a beautiful 70 degree day, and following it up with snow! We had snow last week too, thankfully it only messed up two days of traffic, lol. Oh well, can't wait for .....oh man, spring and allergies and tornadoes. Why the heck did we move back to this God forsaken place? ugh.

Go go tax season.

<3

Work, and stuff

So my new job is really easy. I get to work with a computer a lot, and think very little. I don't have to interact with very many people, and when I do--I don't have to worry about making them happy. Hell, I can't communicate with half of the people I work with because I'm too lazy to finish learning and use Spanish.

I hope the girl I'm filling in for doesn't come back--that way I can stay. :D

It snowed here. I hate snow. The kids lost their gloves again so they couldn't go out and play in it, so they're all kind of upset.

We had lasagne tonight, but we cheated. We used the 2hour oven version. Zachary made garlic bread out of a loaf of sliced bread. ^.^ We're also having yummy creamy smashed potatoes with butter and garlic.

Anyways, not much else to say. I'm really tired.

New Job

I'm off to start my new job.

How exciting.

I hate waking up this early, but at least I'll get off early to be with the kids. :)

See you all later!

Job Interview, and Stuff bnhjgujusxvv

I have a job interview tomorrow! Yay!

It's not the job I'd originally wanted, but at this point in time I'll take what I can get. It's full time, it's semi-casual, and it's not in a stuffy office. YAY.


The other half of the title is from Amaya.

Juvenille Diabetes Research Foundation

It's coming, it's coming!

The annual Walk to Cure Diabetes is coming. It will be held on May 31, 2008. (Our local one, anyways!) It's going to be at the Oklahoma City Zoo. My father will be walking to cure type 1, or Juvenile Dibetes.

Diabetes is a life-altering condition that is serious, and painful. However, researchers have announced that it's very possible we may see a cure well within our lifetime!

Be a part of the cure, and support the JDRF in their mission to find a cure!

Make a donation by sponsering my father's walk at the following link.

http://walk.jdrf.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=extranet.personalpage&confirmid=86961724
'
Every little bit helps.

The Secret Life of....

...do you ever wonder what life would be like if everything you knew to be true were suddenly reversed?

My Dad has several times told me he was in a crisis, like losing his job or life or whatever. (Wow that sounds insensitive.) I guess you'd have to understand our relationship to see why I don't care anymore. So, he told me lastnight he would be getting laid off in March. Why do I feel like it's a case of the little boy who cried wolf? Well, I guess we'll see what happens when March rolls around.

In the mean time, welcome to tax season. I've been running so many errands for my Dad and his co-workers I feel like a rubber band. I have a bunch of signs in the van that I have to go put up at his office today. There is a couple of cute ones, they look like street signs and say "Rebate Dr." and "Pro Filer Pkwy" - although the second one sounds like a show, but it's cute.

I thought I had more to write, but I really don't.

Unless I go back to bragging about how much I'm enjoying playing Anarchy Online for FREE! Man I love free games. -.-

I'm going to go finish digging out my Sims CD's so I have something to do.

Thanks a LOT, Sandra.

So, I've been tagged by Sandra for a...meme? I'll have to look into this a bit more.

I'm supposed to list 7 weird things about me. (I had to consult my husband, because I don't think I'm weird. LoL!)

1. I cannot follow a recipe to save my life. When I write them out, I have to have Kelly edit them because I go off on tangents about how you can change or alter it. I often never look at recipes, although I've become quite addicted to slow cooker recipes. :)

2. I'm a hardcore gamergurl. I've played over 6 betas for MMO's, over a dozen MMO's, and billions of shockwave and java games. I'm addicted to console games as well, from Atari all the way to the Wii skipping very few in between. I heart games. (And boardgames!! And electronic machines like pinball, etc..)

3. I learned to type playing MUD (Multi-User-Dimension online textbased role playing games) and can type over 100 WPM because of that. I do not use the traditional touch typist methods, and have a more of a hunt and peck type method that only uses about three fingers per hand. -.-

4. I'm mildly paranoid. We have to run fans at night so I can even get to sleep.

5. I'm the mother of five, and my fifth child was born when I was 22. All of my children will be 18+ the year of my fourtieth birthday.

6. I edit my kids' schoolwork (3rd grade and under) for grammatical correctness at a college level based on APA standards. ((Although, I don't let them see it, or make them correct it..yet.))

7. I've written over 500 poems, most of which only my husband has ever read.

And...since I don't really know anyone else, the tag ends here. Sorry :(

Friday...Already?!!?

A few things today..

First of all, my Grandma has a pacemaker put into her heart. Since thing she's had an irregular heartbeat, that has caused dizziness and a few other problems. Well, she went in today and they "shocked" her so now her heart is beating regularly and she's doing much better. We're very happy for this great news, she's an amazing woman and I hope she sticks around a lot longer.

Secondly, it's just tax season. Don't panic. Do not panic. You can handle it. The papers come in the mail, you fill out the forms, you send them in. If you aren't lying--you have NOTHING to panic about. We use TurboTax online, because we don't trust tax preparers. (Especially ones we're related to.)

Third. I haven't had a chance to rant about the "natrual" mother of my little angels in this blog yet. Mainly because she's done the normal dissapearing act. Well, her oldest son- who still lives with her...or is supposed to when she isn't pawning him off on her family, bless his little heart!- recently emailed Zachary to say she would be calling on his birthday. Guess what she didn't do? She hasn't called since last summer, early--before I worked at Sonic, so I'll say around May. When she called THAT time it was 9pm, and she wanted me to wake the kids up so she could talk to them. WTF? I'm not waking my kids up for a chat, let alone a chat with a complete psycho!

Anyways, before that I think it was around 2 years since the last time she called. Regardless, she's insane. She calls to wish the kids a Merry Christmas in May, or a Happy Birthday in June when none of our kids HAVE birthdays in June. She lies endlessly, and harps on the kids for not calling her mommy. LIKE SHE DESERVES IT? Anyways, I've decided to be nice to her. She never follows through with her idle threats of visits and phone calls, I might as well humor her.

What really breaks my heart? She's using Cody to lie to her kids now. They all worship Cody and adore him, I really don't think it is fair to him that she's ruining his reputation now as well. Luckily, Zachary calls her a liar and knows that the messages Cody passes on are only as good as her word. He's such a mature young man!!

My job waiting continues. I've been upgraded now, instead of a $10.00 an hour part time job with the electric company, I'm not being offered a $12.00 an hour full time job with overtime possibilities. This is an AWESOME opportunity, as it'll give me more income. More income means more money to save for our move back to Idaho. YAY!

I made some bread lastnight, and it came out pretty decently. I'll share the cheap recipe. ;)

2 tubes Pillsbury French bread
butter
sugar
cinnamon
Honey

Pre-heat oven to 350!
Remove bread from tubes, twist and put in a spiral pattern in a round pie pan. Cut slices randomly into the top- the more you cut the more patterns you get at the end, and it looks really neat with a bunch of cuts!
Spread butter over the top of the bread dough, and sprinkle with sugar and cinnamon.
Bake for 45 minutes or so, until the break isn't doughy in the center, it'll look dry all across the top.
Cut out slices of the bread, butter, drip honey over the top and sprinkle with additional cinnamon and sugar.

Yum!

That's all folks! :)

Yummy Split Pea Soup

So I modified this recipe from a Good Eats episode--which, by the way, everyone should watch. Before you say "ew peas!" and run away, you should so give it a try! This is the yummiest soup, and all of our kids LOVE it.

2 tablespoons butter
1 cup chopped onion
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon minced garlic
32 ounces dried green or yellow split peas, picked over and rinsed
4 cups chicken broth
4 cups water (or so)
5 or 6 slices of bacon, well done
2 Tablespoons of flax seed, ground
1 sprinkle basil
((*substitutes? You can leave out the chicken broth, and use more water. You can use leaks instead of onions, and technically you can use table salt and pre-ground pepper, but it changes the taste. :())

Start by putting water and broth in crockpot and turn to high. Fry up the bacon slices and crumble them up. Put about 1/3 of the bacon into the crockpot now. The rest will go in as it is served to add crunch. :) You may need to add more water later in the cooking process, depending on how thin or thick you'd like your soup.

In a small pot melt the butter over medium heat and add the onions and garlic. Keep the temperature below a simmer, and stir frequently until the onions are soft.

Now you're going to want to wash, and sort your split peas if you haven't already. Make sure there aren't any rocks or any other objects in there! Add the peas to the water, as well as the onion/garlic mix.

A pinch of kosher salt, and liberal grindings of black pepper should be added as well. Obviously this is to taste, since we enjoy pepper we add a bunch. :)

Since peas don't take long to get tender, if you put the crockpot on high it will be done in around an hour. Make sure you take a hand blender and mash up the peas, making sure to leave it lumpy for the texture. Add the flax seed, and turn to low/warm until ready to serve.

Serve with sprinkled crispy bacon on top, or shredded cheese.

This is what we're eating today. :) Yum.

Almost a Decade

Zachary's 9 today.

What an exciting day! We're going to go out to dinner, and spend time together as a family.

Not much else going on, we're all excited about his birthday!

HmMmMmm

Well, now I'm sure I *could* be a bigger nerd, I'm just not sure how. All I will say, in my defense, is at least I didn't use DAoC screenshots.

We got report cards for the kids today. Zachary is still getting all A's - he's so brilliant! I wish his teacher would send him home with more homework, so we could be more interactive with his learning process. I haven't even had the chance to meet his new "Texas Imported" teacher, who had to leave town during conferences, and short of showing up in the middle of class hasn't given me the opportunity to meet her. (grrr.)

Sarah is over-performing, which I'm very proud of. Her teacher is very fun, I enjoy talking to her. She's going to have such an easy time with school, I'm going to have to find a way to keep her interested so she doesn't let her mind wander like I did.

Joshua's a helper in class, always helping everyone. His teachers always love him. (It's easy to do. ;)) Unfortunately, I think his teacher is a bit flakey. (And I swear it has nothing to do with her 5 foot 9 slender model figure and flowing golden blonde hair--augh!!) She drives me nuts with her circle talk and "smoothing over" skills.

Gabriel is getting along decently well, although he aparently gets distracted by Sarah being in the class next door to him. His teacher was teaching second grade last year, because her class was next to Zachary's class last year. Was putting her in charge of K a demotion from 2nd?? <.< >.>

Joshua and Gabriel's report cards are things I will be discussing with the principal sometime soon. They both show lack of mastery in several areas, and I disagree. They show proficiency with these things all the time, and I feel like their teachers are slackers to say the least. I'm really just not impressed with this school. :( I forgot how much I hated the Oklahoma School System, but I let Mom talk me into believing it was just perspective. Well, it isn't.

Amaya's getting so big. She's addicted to Telletubbies now. These shows drive me nuts. Anyone know good shows ? -.-

Anyways-- tomorrow is Zachary's birthday. He's going to be 9. When did he get so big?? I remember just yesterday he was starting school on base, and ....and.....sigh.

No News

I Miss Idaho

Still no word on the job, I guess I'll be getting dressed Monday and heading out with resumes. How fun!

I miss having adult friends, but we can't seem to get along with the people in this state. We talked briefly to a couple with two kids who lived a couple of doors down from us. For some reason one day they snatched their children bodily back into their apartment to keep them from playing with our kids. Since I wasn't outside, I'll never get the whole story, but they wouldn't allow their children to come out to play with us after that. Screw them anyways, they have a problem with my kids, they have a problem with me---and....then I have a problem with them and it gets really sticky at that point. -.- lol

We've made a choice, and we're sticking to it. We have a plan made out and everything.... It's pretty big news, for me anyways.

We Are Moving Back To Idaho!!!

I'm so excited. We're saving up, making plans, and hopefully we can move soon because Oklahoma is just not working out for us at all!

The kids are so happy to be back in school, and I'm happy they're back in school. Don't get me wrong, they are the reason my little world goes around, but 5 kids in a 3 bedroom apartment over winter break with no yard to play in and no parks nearby? ....ugh I hate this city. Can't wait to move!!!!!!

Anyways, I'm off to put pictures on these keychains Dad bought for Mom and Grandma. They have little LED screens, and were only $17!! Anyways, since I have pictures from my sister's wedding on my laptop I got volunteered for the job.

Have a Yummy Day!

School's In!

I'm so glad the kids are back in school. It's so quiet around here for a few hours now! I would like to say it gives me more time to get things done without distractions, but it isn't true. I haven't done anything really, just chilled and enjoyed the quiet.

Anyhow, today is Mom's 50th birthday. We're all going over to her house. It's making everything very tense here, because we have some pretty different views from my parents. Like about how to raise kids, how children should behave, and well---life in general. I know we have great kids, I've had a small hand in raising them to be as bright and wonderful as they are. I shouldn't need my parents' approval, but for some reason as with all things in my life great and small, I sort of wish they could see how great their own daughter is. Yea, right.

Not sure what Dad has planned for tonight, but I'm sure it'll backfire. Or my little sister will show up and throw a fit like she usually does, until everyone's angry at her or eachother and wishes they had never shown up.

My parents changed the locks so my little sister wouldn't be able to "move back" into their house---again. So she's pretty pissed at them. I don't blame her--they've had the same lock on that house for 15 years, and change it because of her. In their defense, she was stealing painkillers and is quite addicted. In her defense...they're her parents! THEY SHOULD BE HELPING HER!! .......anyways, they didn't tell her about the small Christmas get together they had. It wasn't formal, I had gone over to wrap kids' presents since we didn't really have the room here. My little brother was there, because he fell at work and couldn't move (lol, trapped him!) and my older sister and her husband showed up, and then Mom came home from work. So, it was basically Mom and Dad's whole family, minus my little sister. They lied to her over the phone about people being over, lied about what was going on, and I left soon after that because I was mad at them for treating her like that.

Then a few days later my little sister called me, and I was shocked as I looked at the caller ID, but happy she'd think to call me at all. ................but all she wanted was to know if we had any left over pain killers she could get from us, because she's in "so much pain." I really want to believe her, but after 5 years and dozens of doctors unable to find anything wrong with her, my faith is being testing a bit too hard.

Oh...I didn't mean to rant. :

I'm sure there will be another post later, after the fiasco at Mom's birthday.

Have a wonderful day!

Put on Hold

There really isn't anything worse than being put on hold.

Especially when it's about a job, and you're in desperate need of money.

Anyways, this job I've been waiting on for half of forever is aparently waiting on my background check to come back; which seems a bit fishy to me, as there's nothing they could possibly dreg up about me unless they're hunting down ex'es. ;) I mean seriously I went for the drug test/background test starting paper work the week before the New Year. Doesn't that seem a bit too long? Well, it does to me.

So I've put my book on hold for a few days while I let my brain veg out. I've been playing Anarchy Online, since it's free. It's a pretty fun game, but it's way complicated.

Oh, I have a fun story about my apartment to share. When we moved in here, we complained at length because there was paint on the carpet. Not only on the carpet, but on everything including sinks, and the heat elements of the crap stove. It looked like they gave a monkey a roller brush and a vat of paint and set it loose on this place. Plug faceplates painted over, cable outlets, everything, coated in this tacky cheap paint. On some walls, there is debris all over that was painted onto the walls, and it won't come off and it just pesters the hell out of me. Anyways, the bathtub has been chipping for some time now, and lastnight I got a glimpse of the tub beneath the paint. Brown, stained, and gross! So I dumped a bunch of bleach in, scrubbed until I wasn't angry anymore, and now it's all pretty and white and paint splotched. :) It was another sign of how gross this complex is on top of all the other problems we've faced!

Tomorrow is Mom's 50th birthday. Dad called to invite us to her dinner, or well....I think it was "us," he didn't really say who all was invited. I'm going to have to call and clarify later. If he didn't invite all of us, then no one will be going. I hate to sound really petty, and I know it's Mom's birthday and we should all be nice and get along or whatever, but I refuse to go to a family function if I can't take my family and have us all be welcome. :

So I'm excited today, to say the least. I could have a job by the end of this week, and it'll be so fun and such. I know there's nothing on my background report, so it's a pretty positive thing. :)

Have a great day#$%^&*!

WOO!

Oh yea, I'm awesome! I rock! blahblah..

I finished the outline. I'm starting the rough draft. This is going to be so exciting!

I need proof-readers! :D

I did it!!

I did it!! I finished the entire series.

Confessions of a Shopaholic
Shopaholic Abroad (Shopaholic takes Manhattan)
Shopaholic ties the Knot
Shopaholic & Sister
Shopaholic & Baby

-----what fun! I haven't decided where to go from here, though. I wanted to read the Divine Comedy, but it's slightly harder to follow than the Shopaholic books where, and I find my mind wandering at length.

I went sorting through more boxes, and got my livingroom back in order over the weekend. It didn't take much effort, really, since I force the kids to keep the livingroom clean every day. :)

I'm also plotting out a new schedule for the weekly cleaning. I find myself slipping, and focusing too much on one room and ignoring others. Being out of work has thrown me for a loop, because I'm definately not used to being at home all the time. I miss it! I recently got a letter from the Social Security Administration and it listed off the amounts of money I'd made each year since I started working. It almost made me cry, to see the year that I just didn't work at all, because Kelly was in the military and we lived on base, and I didn't need to work. I miss that, sitting with the kids all day and playing games. I really enjoyed spending so much time with them, but now with them in school it wouldn't be the same anyways.

Oh well, I've been working at length on my book, and I've sorted through my contacts on deviantart.com, and I may even start posting on there again some time soon. I haven't had a chance to write much for all the work I was doing.

Amaya has become quite addicted to this show called Boobah. It's cute, but after so many times of watching it the stupid things become mildly annoyoing. It's definately an adorable show, because through most of it they have sounds of children laughing, little kids mostly, and it's very infectious.

Anyways, off to clean and cook. Enjoy!

!!!

I've been reading a lot lately, the Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella. I completely blame Sandra for it. (http://familycorner.blogspot.com) as I got the idea from her book blog.

Also, had a lot of time to think about the outline for my book, which is really starting to flesh out quite nicely. I've changed the setting and characters quite drastically, and I think it'll work out a lot better this way.

We have been playing the Wii my parents got the kids for Christmas a lot lately. The baby has gotten quite good at one of the games, the one where you race cows. It's pretty hilarious.

It's so cold here....well it was mild today, but it HAS been cold. Since our windows are terribly insulated, we put sheets up over them, which has helped keep it much warmer in here. I really hate how terrible this apartment complex is, I don't know why I thought we'd get anything decent at such a low price. In fact, we're probably getting exactly what we pay for, bleh!

Anyways, not much else going on. I'm off to read "Shopaholic & Sister" which looks like it's book 4 of the new series I'm hooked on. Hope it's as fun as the others!

Early Spring Cleaning

I've spent almost an entire week now, sorting through everything we own. I've thrown things out, sorted, repacked, and forced the kids to help with the whole mess. Needless to say they are not really happy with me right now. If only I had eBay figured out a bit better, we could sell all this clothing, I think we'll just donate it instead. Either way, we've had a very productive Winter Break to say the least, and now we're all excited and ready for school to start again next Tuesday.

I've decided to pick up a few hobbies again, mainly writing and sketching. Hopefully it will help clear my mind, and rid me of the limitless frustration I've had going on lately. Winter always brings a certain level of restless energy to our house, and since we moved to "this neighborhood" the kids are unable to play outside as much as they desperately need to.

Reading is another thing I'm picking up again, and I'm getting most of my book suggestions from my husband, and a friend who posts in her blog here at blogspot as well. (http://familycorner.blogspot.com) Her blog is amazing! Hopefully if I keep up with it I can have as much fun with this as she does. I'm currently in the process of downloading the Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella, as well as persuing the Divine Comedy.

We're also working on an outline for a story I've had brewing for several years. My husband enjoys being on my creative team, lucky for me! I've also decided to begin posting again at deviantart.com, my page there is http://toxic-erotica.deviantart.com. It will start slowly, as usual, but hopefully I can dedicate more time to the persuit of these hobbies this year. A little time management will help!

There is also another blog I'm working on, a family friendly gaming blog. http://confessionsofagamergurl.blogspot.com.

Idle hands are the devil's tools, so I'm finding a way to keep them busy.

Happy 2008

Here comes another year, and another blog. I've wiped all my previous entries, and decided to start this thing over again. I went from a tech blog, to an artsy blog, and my last terrible blog was a political thing, which I'm not too good at. Now, I'll just post at random and see if anyone can keep up.



I'm a working mother of five. When I say working, I mean: I work, but my family comes first. I also enjoy online gaming, reading, and writing. I dabble in some artistic crafts--but never anything serious. It's pretty much a simple life of family and hobbies. My husband is a retired USAF Sgt. and computer geek, who's always right. We have five beautiful children, (by age) Zachary, Joshua, Sarah, Gabriel and Amaya. They range in age (currently) from 8 to 2.



The kids are out of school for Christmas break, and since I abandoned my most recent job before the break, I've gotten to spend a lot of time with them. It's been a lot of fun!



Zachary got an award for being one of the top students in the school. This is from his great grades, willing and helpful attitude, and lack of disciplinary problems so far this year. He's on the principal's honor roll, and got to go out to lunch with the principal because of it.



Joshua is progressing as well, although at his grade they don't do the same awards they do at Zachary's. He's ahead of his class in most areas, and his teacher adores him--it's an easy adoration to catch on to. He's a helpful child, and enjoys going to school.



Sarah and Gabriel are both doing well in their classes, Sarah is somewhat a teachers pet and is far ahead of her class. I feel at times I should've let her go to school last year, although it would've ended up being late. I realized in around January that her birthday was before the cut-off date, unlike Gabriel's. They enjoy being in the same grade, their classes are next door to one another, so it worked out for the best I think. Gabriel's a bit on the shy side, and I think having his sister closer helps him out.



Amaya is learning her letters and numbers with flare, and taking great pride in herself for yelling them at random moments. She may be going to daycare soon, which I'm sure she will absolutely enjoy--she's so lonely during the day when the other kids are at school.



Overall the children we have in school are all brilliant, and continually out perform the rest of their classes, I'd like to say it's genetics, but I think it's just good parenting.







My recent persuits include a book titled "Coyote" by Allen Steel. This is a sci-fi book about a group of political dissenters who basically hijack a multimillion dollar space ship and rocket off to a new, uninhabited planet. It highlights the life of the teenage generation of settlers, and follows the trial and error of living in a wild environment. I greatly enjoyed this book, although there are times when the technical side got to be a bit long-winded. It did give the story a sense of reality, but it distracted from the immersion factor since I don't always understand the theory behind the long-winded descriptions. Either way, it was a great read and I happily give it a 7/10 subtracting three for the long-winded nature of technical explainations. The character development is delightful, although there are some chunky spots towards the middle.

Well it looks like it's way past bed time. I have a billion things to wrap up, and a pile of books to dig through.

Happy Surfing!



**Our children enjoy their learning experiences at school, and at home. We promote Study Dog and StarFall.com, great tools for all young minds! Our schools have StarFall in their classes!